How can I start a conversation about a piece that has impacted myself as an artist more than I probably would ever like to share? I am not too sure but I will give it my best shot.
I started this piece when I was in one of the most emotional trying times of my life. I was isolated, alone and so very lost. The only thing I knew before painting this piece was that I wanted to be a real artist and make it as my profession. I had no clue if I could do it and honestly waivered in my belief that I had the talent to do it. When I started this piece I just let go of everything and left it on the canvas. Once I finally finished this piece and looked back at it I knew that no matter what, art was what I had to do. Obviously, the thought of failing and being broke and destitute really scares me like it would most. But for the first time in my life I knew I couldn’t let that fear stop me anymore, and that even if I was the only one who discovered something through my pieces I had to keep creating them. So I have, and slowly I believe that I am helping to reach people and make their lives a bit more colorful.
As I could probably talk about “Freedom” for hours I will spare you and focus on some of the highlights of it. “Freedom” started with a broken heart (the loss of heart) the idea of emptiness, blackness, a whole that felt like it would engulf me. It became more as all my thoughts of doubt; self-denial, anger and anguish started pouring out. I was stripped naked down to my very core having no recourse but to stare into that which I was so afraid of. For who truly wants to take off there masks and look into the true eyes of who they were.
I had lost my heart through this period and wondered if I could ever find it again. I had no one to blame but myself and I think that was the hardest to admit. But the admission brought absolution and a desire to find a better path to walk along. I must admit I was scared that I might never love again but my fears had to be replaced with hope. And that is what I chose; I chose hope over fear and a passion filled life over a bleak mundane existence.
So as this sluggish naked body was stripped down to raw emotion I lifted his head to the sky releasing it all giving up all my guilt, sorrow and regret. Wondering if death was the sweet escape or could life really begin anew once you let the pain break free. So as the pain started to dissipate I found my answer. I was bathed in a healing power of renewed energy allowing me to look up to a new beginning to a life filled with bold strokes of wonderful colors. Pain was only temporary; life is what could be forever.
And so the final theme became a story of Life. I wanted to show that there was hope in releasing the things that bind you. Your sins could be washed away; you could be clean again with a white blank slate. A life doesn’t have to be empty and void but more full of possibilities and color. Even if your body doesn’t want to go on, you must look onwards and find your strength to perceiver. You can find a beautiful life in the Freedom of letting go.